I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
