He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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