ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
