I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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