Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
