I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize