Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How external is "for external use only"?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
