I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
