eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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