kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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