I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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