He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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