shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
