she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
