For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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