i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
