now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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