I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she smelled like a LAN party
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
