Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize