i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
