When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
