yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
