so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize