Farmville is her only friend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Houston, we have a squirter
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
