it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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