Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
