i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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