Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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