Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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