You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
