stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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