so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
