I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
