he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
3pm strippers are depressing
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
