Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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