Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
As shirtless as possible
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
