First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
