i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
