dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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