Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
