The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
