dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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