When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
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i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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