I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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