I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love you. Go after that dick
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
