You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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