I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
