party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
