i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize