chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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