At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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