i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
