You're completely useless in the revolution.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
