my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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