He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
