My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am one with the molecules
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
