they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
