that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
