is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
