Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I will die if light touches me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
