i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
