How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
