OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I skipped work to stalk him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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